a cup of caramel tea..

i’m back again.. too much i want to share.. now, i’m already here.. not there anymore.. too much happen rite now i ges.. not guessed.. but reality.. my greatgrandmother have been attacked.. by wat?? come on. not need to b serious like dat.. moyang sy kenna strok.. in just one second.. shocking me.. because before dis she’s not too sick la.. just sakit tua.. and i.. have been so long i’m not meeting her.. her age.. around 100 ++.. wen i heard dat news,i’m blurred.. i just imagined all bad things.. is she going to die?? witout me at her side?? seriously dat ime i’m scared.. i just went back immediately.. actually that’s not too bad.. just separuh lumpuh but needed fully nursing care.. btw,she is still strong enuf to wake up n duduk2 by herself.. then i’m better.. after my bro teman my moyang since her admitted,i take my turn.. accompany my sis.. we do da best 4 her.. i ges our service in ’service class a’ or sholud i say superb? ye la.. we put bedak,take her bathed,put some perfume..tommy girl perfume. n just wanna let u knw dat my moyang is a kind of ‘cermat’ person.. cerewet! haha. wen time is running out,i just too sad to laeve her.. to let my other relatives care her.. i’ve promised her dat i’ll go back again.. to take care of her.. but she cried.. haih..make me cried too.. but now,its getting better.. she’s better.. i just pray dat she’ll be like before.. or nearly like before.. wen lik dis happen,i realized dat i should not seek any true love anymore.. for me,true love is family…. i love them~!

nye.. in melur’s

mata bengkak.

TERUSKAN DENGAN PENIPUAN ITU. KERANA TIADA SIAPA YANG TAHU KECUALI KAMU.

TUHAN ITU SATU..

KEPURA-PURAAN KAMU MENJADIKAN HATI INI TIADA RASA KASIH,SAYANG DAN CINTA SEBAGAI MANUSIA LAGI.

CUKUP UJIAN YANG DITERIMA.

AKU INGIN MENJADI SEGAGAH SITI KHADIJAH~

Kegagahan Wanita

4) Perempuan yang tidak meminta-minta agar di penuhi segala keinginan.

Kegagahan perempuan berdiri di atas teguh iman. Seluruh kegagahan yang
Ada pada Khadijah adalah kegagahan sempurna bagi seorang perempuan.

Kecantikan seorang lelaki bukan kepada rupa fizikal tetapi pada murni rohani. Lelaki yang cantik,adalah:-

1) Lelaki yang mampu mengalirkan airmata untuk ingatan

2) Lelaki yang sedia menerima segala teguran

3) Lelaki yang memberi madu,setelah menerima racun

4) Lelaki yang tenang dan lapang dada

5) Lelaki yang baik sangka

6) Lelaki yang tak pernah putus asa

Kecantikan lelaki berdiri di atas kemuliaan hati. Seluruh kecantikan yang ada pada Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. adalah kecantikan yang sempurna seorang lelaki.

haih…

i’ve been thinking bout dis 4 a few days ago.. i dunno.. i dun understand my own problem.. specificly i dont.. i dun wanna go there xceli.. i mean i wanted 2 but not 4 long period.. i’ve been thinking sooooo much rite? yea.. haih.. thinking bout da jarak.. sooooooooooooo jauh… over da sea.. n da fees to come back needed bout thousand! hey.. i should b positive.. i can learn how 2 b independent there.. buy my own food,clothes…ah.. i gonna miss my mum! my dad… my cats.. my bed.. my room… yea.. i never been "divorced" wit all of them. me manja.. yupp.. mnja.. n i cant argued,wrestling wit my younger sis… i cant do that everyday already…

i’ve not packing yet.. too much thing dat i need 2 bring… my own blanket.. my elmo.. how many times did i ngeluh already?? dunno……. it’s totaaly hard 4 me.. being far from my house.. my heaven.. my mama,my abah,baby,my dol,my shinbey,my black n my grey… ya allah.. my i should have this feeling?? i should go there wit hati yang lapang..fikir sesuatu yang gembira..bahagia.. dunno…i want to stay here.. but till wen?? never being apart wit family..so i ges dis is da time rite?? if not now wen?? i cant be wit them forever.. my pray "semoga kami semua bersatu kembali sebagai keluarga di akhirat sana… amiin.."

plus,last nite something happen…i thought i can do it but i cant… yea… hard 4 him to do dat.. yea.. i have to understand.. have to try… who am i to him?? not sure.. honestly sometimes i felt lik i’m not special at all… although he said a thousan times.. mbe bcause too pain.. confusing.. been betrayed.. my loyalty… gone… wat is my topic again?? mm.. be positive.. how can i??? i knw i’m going to misssssssssssssssssssssss them so musc… by hook or crook i have to go… to get my own life… far.. far away from them…

mbe its not to hard..but i make it looked sooo hard…. i make it just like i cant handle it…but..again…over da sea..far far away…. n i never been jauh…haih… and he influenced my feeling.. i hate dis.. yea..evrything seems to b hard for me.. but not others.. too much excuses..u dun have troubled urself 4 me k..

i should stop now.. feel lik wanna cry… manja…..watever… i should relief dis..not packed anything yet..so much to bring..hope dis gonna b ok..but how??? ntah…. rite now i felt i dun want to meet him..yeaa… "panas..jauh..jln sesak..tgk la..ntah la.."..that’s enuf of shown how u aprreciate me.. or mbe i just think too much..

i wish all my dreams come true..

i wish that i can make people around me happy..

i wish i can be an extraordinary person..

i wish i can do whatever i want…

aahhhhh..wen to many wishes,do u think u’ll hepi all da time??

no way…Tuhan has decided that not all our wishes,our pray will come true..why? because that’s the reason for us to be thankful..thankful n appreciate wat we have..to teach us what is the real mean by DESTINY..

and i wish that i can turn the past..to change wat i’ve done..totally bad things.. but not all the bad things will gave a bad affect.. n not all good things will stayed good forever.. in my childs’ time,i wished that i can be a witch..so i can do whatever.. whatever i want.. i can avoid from made my mom mad at certain time,can escape from go to school,can play all the time…

now,is reality time.. i’ve faced many things.. and surely more will come..being bitched,lies,hypocrite,backstabbers,enemies,envious and lost.. all thats make me down,felt betrayed n revenge will be the 1st thing..yupp..i’m an emotional person..

but,i’m no longer 2 b dat kind of people.. how? because the word of DESTINY.. it changed me a lots…because wen bad things happen,i still have a good one.. being love.. true love from family,syazwan thariq n mostly my TUHAN.. i still have them.. i still got a person who always being honest,person who acted just themself.. see..

so why people make a wish? because want to comfort themself.. from wish there’s a hope.. from hope people will tried.. wen tried n we get it,make us happy n thankful..but if we dont,teach us to be thankful wit what we have.. life’s easy.. dun think so hard.. dont try be others.. wishing by yourself..not because others influence.. if not now,it’ll be then… lik a wheel..

raya 2006..

first pic together~~

me n my late tammy..

cats         

find something that can make you happy wen u sad.. find something that can releaf ur pain wen u hurted….

just feel want blogging…dunno wat i rili wan 2 share…oh ya..since someone had being so emo wit me,here’s some advice….

FRIENDSTER IS A PLACE 2 HAVE FUN..REALLY…NEVERTHELESS WE WANT TO FIND OUR OLD FRENS OR LOOK AROUND 4 NEW FRENS….SO JUST IGNORE WAT PEOPLE SAY HERE.. NOTHING MUCH WE CAN DO HERE..  JUST PLAYED AROUND.. CHANGE PROFILE,BLOGGING,SEND A COMMENT OR TESTI,EDIT ANYTHING U WANT.. SO DUN BE SO EMO… STOP BEING CHILDISH AND ACTED LIKE U ARE NOT A MATURED PERSON(EVEN IF U REALLY ARE)

so just lets have some fun…honestly spaeking,4 me friendster is a placed 4 me 2 express wat i want..feel free..yea..ofkos fun! till then………………………. cheer up yourself k..

like i normally say,if there’s has somenone read my blog,i dun care…i just wasting time to blog..all of my post r all bout me…ok..if u’ve read my post wit title unpredictable,i’ve shown my anger 2 someone…but i dun mention any name so peole mbe yup maybe keep guessing n wondering who’s dat person….honestly i never expected dat people will read my blog cos sometimes me oso dun wan read others blog…if i read someone’s blog,eventhough da blog is dedicated 2 me,as long he or she dun mention my name specificly,i TOTALLY not thinking dat post is 4 me..either they bitched or puji me…dis is my blog so i can said whatever i want rite…up 2 me…but then again,i’ve been deleted as someone’s fren in her fs…y? bcos she thinks dat i’ve bitched her..sdgkan i’m mad at other person..do u get it??i dunno how 2 transfer wat i wan 2 say into my writing..her fren also my fren(R) told me dat she kutuk me in her bloq..i cant go to her page cos i’m not her fren anymore..R copied n sent 2 me her post…n R said dat da girl told all her frens dat i kutuk her…wen i’ve finished read dat posts,i dun get any point..i meant lgsg xterasa yg she kutuk me..plus i never know dat gurl..mm..kawan atas kawan la ni..i just buat bodo..tpi i got lots of msj,cmmnt yg kutuk me cos i kutuk dat gurl..her said,i’m frustrated so i’m transferring my emo 2 her…she said i’ve said bad things bout her…how can??i never knw she..even her fullname….rite now,as i knw,she n her frens kutuk2 me n ketawakan me la…i ges i knw y dis is happen….bout my post,if ada ramai yg baca,selagi kita xbuat apa yg i wrote either it true or not y being so sensitive??4 me senang je…sapa makan cili dia yg rasa pedasnya…wen she said dat i make a post dedicated 2 her n wat i said is not true,y she terasa…u get it or not?then she said 2 all her frens included R dat she’s flattered cos have a person who make a post 2 her..aiiyya..simple way,if she had realized dat wat i said is not true,y she still thinks dat i bitched her in my blog?

frankly,till now i never felt yang dia kutuk me in her blog..if ada sekalipun i dun care..i make dis post not because xpuas ati wit her..just rasa kelakar n lucu…sbb lelaki pun n kutuk kaum sejenis??in her post,she siad dat i’m kindda person yg should refer myself 2 ALLAH cos i dun how 2 thankful 2 my creator…she said again dat i"m acted lik a gurl eventhough i’m a lady…how she so sure i’m bitched her??i read your blog more than 10 times but i still cant get the main point that u dedicated 2 me….can u guys c da difference??she just being so sensitive n perasan rite??

ok la…if i’m reli make a post 2 her,i ges i only lepaskan geram in here…my blog..at least i throw my anger here so people knw wat kind of person am i..i’m  not hypocrite…wen i’m mad,u’ll not knw it…easy la..u being ssooooooo nice but u kutuk me in ur blog,mengumpat me wit ur frens,ketawakan me,said i’m jeles wit u,tuduh me mcm2…u more teruk than me…so now,who should refer herself 2 ALLAH?but i only shown my anger here…witout kaitkan sapa2….plus i’m not make a post 4 u…….haih…

yea…i knw i’m not a gud person…wen i mad,people will knw it…4 myself,i’m not hypocrite..people will knw wat kind of person i am…but compare wit u…u keep hiding ur "tanduk kejahatan" but wit ur besties,u’r not totally gud gurl….btw,i oso not sure u make a post 4 me or not…i’m not a person who cepat terasa..but if u reli r…thanks….u r not in my list yet 4 me make a post 2 you…u r not a gerat person 4 me kutuk,bitched or jeles….ok?

i’ve started creating poem long time ago.. but not a gud one.. i knw my english is not great as others..espceially my grammar..but i can if 4 my daily use..if 2 make as my priority languange,no lah…so i keep telling myself dat i love bahasa more than english…is not i’m scared 2 take a risk or wat..but i dun knw y i just love 2 speak in bahasa..since i be apart of forum,evryday i feel lik i wan 2 speak in bahasa

baku

..hahaha…yea..u’ll laugh rite..talked bout language,smtimes i eagerly 2 learn any others language such as

italy

or french..oh how i wish i can do…or just simply chinese but then i still can’t…started last year..i’ve been addicted downloading a language site 2 learn diff language..i dun have specific teacher nor class..as we knw,learnt without teacher,we can b da best..rite?? i’m not kind of person who loves spent my time alone,hv only a few besties,doing da same thing over n over,writing all da time..its so bored..duncathink??aha..but here..in dis world,theres a kind person like dat..i love 2 speak..people who normally knw me,they’ll knw how a lot of thing i wan 2 say…i love it sice i laernt it..n my writng??smtimes suck!..but i talked bout real things la..dat day..i just finished my poem..ENGLISH one…i dont normally write sastera things..be it poem,story or wat..but it comes naturally…if i’m not mistaken its takes few month ..take so long time ha??ahahaha..i knw..but just like i said..it comes naturally so ofkos i can’t finished in short time..plus i’m not an expert 1 n im a person who’s gonna face my exam so i’ve 2 spend,divide n use my time wisely….;)..my poem not an exageratted one..just using a simple english words…but i proud wit my work!..dis is da best..i mean 4 me cos if in bahasa i can do faster..n better too..so here it’s..it’s it bout frens..knowing,sharing,laughing,caring,crying n lastly losing..if there’s anyone read my blog,giv me ur cmmnt…i’m not serious in dis field..just wasting time in a gud way…i’m not gud in it..yea..i knw..critising myself better 2 avoid my anger..=p

                       What if……..

Friends tell you their secrets
Friends are meant to share
Friends are meant to cheer you up,
What happens when they’re not there?

Is it hard when you don’t have
Someone to lean upon?
When you need a friend to care,
but they, your friends, have gone?

What if you were split
Up from your best friend?
Do you think you’d care
If your friendship ends?

Would you slowly drift apart,
Go in separate ways?
Or would you both grow closer
Grow closer day by day?

What if your friends started
Saying things behind your back?
Would you stand and face them,
Or would your courage lack?

Perhaps it would be safer
To let your friendships mend,
Push these thoughts behind you,
And make the questions end.

picnic time..2005

mayuni sengaja did it!

"alhamdullillah"…ayat yg kuar dri mulut aku pas dpt result…..hepi…giler punya hepi…dpt result yg perfect…dat means by end of diz year dpt anugerah la….mmm…lam kls ada 3 org je perfect results…n da rest pun ok…ala…dh nk dkt2 ni suma dh semangat la kan…dlu nk main…..ckgu je yg takut semcm…dpt anugerah mean aku naik stage lgi la…nk beli bju baru!!hahahaha….jgn la poyo….kn pkai uniform tu jgk….mengada btl…by 8/10 ni best…..muet dpt band 5…essay agk turun…sbb ms wrote essay ngantuk giler……*hey,org bijak xbg alasan*…ahahha…mksdnya aku blm jdi org bijak la…..adui….sakit gigi….eh,tetiba….nk raya dh aku ni…..bju raya bru siap tdi….nice la…tapi malangnya aku lau bju kurung brp kali sgt la aku pkai….xsk2…bju 4 thn dlu pun msh baru….bygkan la…..btapa krgnya bju kurung aku pkai….btw,math pun agk turun…..sir pun mcm agk bising la….apa blh bt…hahaha….sir wong is da best….cpt bt ombak….2 thumbs up!!!!esok my besday…nk apa ek???ala…dh bsr pun nk adiah ke….xmlu tau mnta2 adiah….ha…nk mnta cik beli maxis broadband….kacang je tu….TAPI kan…persoalannya…mn mau dicucuk??bak kata safwan…."cucuk di …tut….."ngarut la saff ni…i ges my result adiah yg da best la….tpi ari tu aku ckp dkt smone tu yg thn ni thn yg teruk bg aku….yup…reli…setengah tahun t’akhir la…beberapa purnm lepas je…pastu siap ckp dis is my worst besday…pastu ada smthng yg hepi jdi….mula la mlu sndri2….xkira la apa pun….i thnk i’ve right 2 b reli proud wit my result….susah tau….nk ngis tau tiap2 ari dpt keja….mmg ssh…..biar la show off pun….ala,bkn rmai pun yg bca….aku pun mls nk buka blog org….tpi yg suka bc blog aku ni mbe admire aku kot…mmm…nk jdi mcm aku….hahahahaha…sgt2 perasan….xtau malu la punya bdk poyo…..poyo….tu la…sll ckp poyo dkt org….mostly aku ckp poyo….last2 aku mcm agk2 poyo…..bluueekkk!!!!mama….sakit gg…tdi sengal kaki…semalam pedih perut…..vulneranble btl….mengada la aku ni….ha….aku dh dpt list a few sifat aku…

-emosi…can change my mood mcm iguana tkr kaler

-semngt tggi…tggi sgt…

-agak gedik ngan sendirinya…

-lucu seyh…hai meh???mbe la….*blushing*

-org 2 kata sk b’cerita….lyn je la….

-sk politik….ahaha…(mama mrh la…)..mmm….apa lgi ekk??kekwn aku tau la kot….g la tanya….oh ya….now kn…dlm kls aku yg ada crisis tu….*mngata dri sndri* mcm jdi better la….keberkatan ramadhan…..tpi ntah la….let da time show it….hahah…blaja2…penting tu…tpi mlm ni ngan selamba je aku bt cuti utk xnk blaja….belek nota last year je…punya la pemalas….dh la tiap2 mlm rabu blaja jap je…knp??knp??hah…ada eric la….my dear adam roriguez…punya sweet….yeya2!!nk raya…xsbr….tpi my bro yg poyo xblk…ala….xbest…=(..i miss him soooooooooo much…tpi abg ngah n angah ada dtg…cuma kakak lmbt skit…..xde cuti…xpela….nati blh g main boling mcm thn lepas….punya b’gegar tmpat boling tu…..ngan piza n air suma ada….xsbr2….nk g mncing lgi….biasa angah dpt ikan…aku punya lekat dkt bot….xpe2….time ni biar aku byk ikan plk…..klu xdpt aku ambil je ikan emas mama…hahaha….sejuk la mlm ni….hjn….da stars xmncl….rindu pd bntang yg jauh….tpi ttp tgk bln yg sama…..ramadhan nk hbs dh…..adekah aku mengisinya ngan sempurna???i’ve try my best….btw,exam pun xlma je lgi…pastu free la kan….cuma akn rindu kekawn..ina…shidah…anice….haih…xpe la….xckp tp dpt tgk pun ok la….nati xckp n xtgk cmna????oh my….tujuan pas exam xtau lgi….igt nk blk sn…..tpi syg nk tggl cats….nk blk bt more charity work…dkt sni cm ada 1 bdn oku je….so sll bt keja yg sm….haih….knp cik irma tetb slow nehh???ala…org tu g main futsal….agk rindu la…..we decided 2 try so i gv my best mcm yg aku sll bt la….do da best dlm suma hal….either remeh or serious….but then if xok,wat can i say…..nothing la….xpn cpt call anuar zain @ lelaki b’dimple n syman mns tu pinang aku!sooooooo gedik~~~~hepi la ari ni…..hopely lain ari pun hepi….tpi kan…..klu aku jdi gns,hbs la…mcm iklan cat nippon tu…..krts2 b’terbangan…hiperbola btl!mcm last2 year dpt bunga…adekah thn ni dpt lgi???xtau…..haha…betapa gediksnya ku mlm ni…..lapar la….tdi buka posa mnm air je lbh…well,tau je la cuaca dkt sni…dh la tdi round 1 psr filipin tu ngan mama….penat tau…..m’beli syr segar….tpi haram aku nk msk….pemalas tahap dewa….hahaha…..tpi dh blaja msk dh….insaf2…………lapr ni…nk g mkn pastu call cik…rindu giler dkt my abg tu….mlm nati call org tu……wuuhhhu…….so,enjoy la…..my sis dh bsg dh….well…well….xde apa….okla…(ayt org 2..)hey,sapa org tu???adalah…………….keep it as a top secret…..hehehehe….top secret ke???ye ye ooo….luqman pun xtau…zikri pn xtau…suma xtau….tpi izwan tau…kot la….kot je…..mls la nk heboh….no comment…….aiseh…mcm artis la plk….k…till next ya…i’m going 2 makan…..msk2 b’sm cik irma…….wuhhu..aku tgglkan tlsn ni ngan 1 hadis…tpi dlm bhsa malay la…xreti arab…kn blaja ngan dak nas dlu….xpun dak zam….."seandainya seseorang itu membuat kejahatan pda dirimu,janganlah m’balas dendan sbgmn dia lakukan…ttp,buatlah k’baikan kpdny sbg mn dikendaki oleh-Nya…nescaya org itu akan tersedar dgn sndrinya…."so,dat gurl yg hipokrit 2 aku bt xtau je……btla apa yg dia rs bhgia…krn dia jg berhak bhgia di atas muka bumi ini….sekian dlu dr ustazah ain….dan2 je tkr nama…k la….askum….miss ya!!=)

byk nk write….1stly abah….wpun bkn father’s day tpi nk crita gak…..now abah owez bz….sll outstation la….byk keja….blk rmh pun keja…. last week g kl n kb…pastu ari ni g trganu than 23 g kk….see….sll kuar…smtimes xbest la….yup! no more much time 2gether wit him to take care bout all da cats… not enuf time 2 jaga rumah…all thngs…started from da rumput pjg till tebas semak…abah is a great person…reli great…da greatest…. i mean where can i fing lelaki yg mcm abah nowadays…even my luvly bro pun xcmtu…just a little bit je sm…..abah knw how 2 do evrything….dri yg plg simple to yg plg ssh….pjt pkok klpa…kukur klpa(dunno it’s a suitable word o not)..baiki tv,paip,motor,lampu n suma la…keja pjbt lgi la….baiki keta…ah…suma…jga bunga…jga ktorg smpai jdi bsr gedabak suma ni….ajar semayang…ngaji…nsht suma….. n aku klu abah tgr je cpt sgt nk ngis…=(…mnja ke….mbe sbb abah sll tgr ngan nsht…. see….hebatnya seorang lelali named ibrahim yusoff…abah berkejaya yg bgs..tpi informal knwledge abah pun bgs….sshnya nk cri lelaki mcm abah…ada ke….klu ada pun cik la….xkan aku nk admire cik….. abah org kg… dat’s y dia tau bt suma keja kg…. abah tau suma…abah is a great leader….now rindu abah….jrg abah ada dkt rumah…..klu cmni bttr xnaik pgkt tpi mesti ada hikmah…..ni kejayaan abah…btw lku abah sll g smnjg abah blh jmpa cik,ngah or kakak….tgk tokwe,nye n oso nenek kan….see…ada hikmahnya…..abah…i reli luv u….klu la aku dpt sorg lelaki mcm abah….bgs kan…my father is a hero…..biar orang nk kata apa pun…abah pendek…abah botak…just shut up…tu my abah….korg apa nk pdli….i love my abah…my famili….2ndly psl filem….a few day ago festival filem kan…so now aku dh ada pndngn sndri….be matured means kt blh ckp apa sj isu scra open….malaysian smtimes so kolot….i gv cntoh lik filem gubra….tu ksh kasih syg kan tpi knp byk sgt yg bsg…i mean tu la cara kasoh sayang yg septtnya ajar generasi muda bkn ngan filem gns….silapnya cuma ada adegan atas katil n peluk…da rest suma pasal luv dlm kga….ala mcm filem lain xde peluk kan….malaysia pun berangan nk jdi holywood la konon….org kata filem tu blh bt remaja t’pengaruh…cium2 suma….bkn b4 diz dh ada ke….xmestinya ada filem bru remaja ikut…..rempit……remaja mmg dri dlu rempit jgk kan…so….depends pd kita nk fkr cmna….matured utk tntukan apa yg kita tgk n dgr……certain org still fkr yg kita xblh ckp certain isu sbb isu tu open sgt….come on….kita yg tntukan apa yg kita bt….klu kt xnk lbh2 open,ckp cukup sekadar yg ptt je la……same lik bahasa rojak…..dlu lgi org buat atas sbb nk nmpk terer ckp bi…so mbe dh pnt so cmpr la ngan bm…..btw ckp bm fun tau….bi pun syok….tpi jgn obses sgt ngan bi smpai dangkal sgt otak utk ckp bm….see….now i can talk bout matuerd issues……dat’s great…xla la ditakuk lama kan…..general knwledge kita takat mana shows takat mn kt blh b’fkr di luar kotak apa yg kita blaja…..xsuma perlu kita blaja sbb ada bnda kita kn fkr sndri….stop being childish…i mean da way b’fkr….smtimes skp n cara childish tu ok la kan……..stupid je org yg tau b’ckp utk satu pihak je…hnya sebelah cara….fkr la dri kedua2 pihak n cara…dat’s much2 better….believe me………..