a cup of caramel tea..

a few minutes more all of us will be in new year. hope new year will bring more gud news. more kejayaan. more prosperity. more happiness. more oppurtunities.

normally people will make new wish. new hope too. but will we achieve all of our hopes without any efforts? if in 2006 we cant achieve what we want,i surely u guys did tried in 2007 but if still cant, that mean we should try harder for 2008. who knows we can do it?? nobody knows. everything depends on us.

so do i. i knew some of my hopes still not come to end at all. and some of them still not started yet. oh my. but one thing for sure. for 2008 i’m still 10O% me. i dont care any rumours about me. say whatever you want to say because u’ve your rite but make sure you still know what is mean by respect! well for this new year,i’m still allowed to hope. haha.

i hope this year everything getting better for me.

i hope can be patience. no more bad temper. emotional irma. go away. just come back if i really really need you. ok?

i hope i can be more independent than before. not 100% but at least my brain will work faster when i’m facing any problems. no need to call anyone quickly. no need to be panic at all.

i hope i can be less sensitive n more sensitive. i meant less sensitive for stupid and nonsense things such as what people think or what people said. i mean i do before but i want to be more strong in it. be better in it. and i want to be more sensitive in certain things. in my life. my future steps. my identity. me myself and i. also be more sensitive in my family’s matter. yea. i’m going 20’s so of course i become as matured person.

i hope i can be excellent in whatever i do. either it simple things,matters or problems. or difficult things ever. i can be extraordinary person. just like i do before even-though not in everything.

i hope my love will stay forever. i dont care the person that i love like me or not. as lons as i loved them. i accepted them as who  are they. if before i easily get emotional to person who bitched me,this year i promise to myself that i’ll control it. or mbe i’ll try harder to make it go away. love is important. doent care how ways it’s come to me.

i hope i can learn not to think much about peoples that i missed. missing them hurt me. i hope i’ll never say that i’m alone again because i still have Allah beside me! plus my syazwan thariq will fly to ireland by the middle of 2008. we’ll being far again. i missed my parent. my sisters. they are away. over the sea. too far is it?  too hutrs when i’m thinking about it.

i hope i can reconcile certain things.

oh ya. i hope i can gain my weight. they are several person said that "adik ain kurus sanagt la." "adik,knp cengkung ni". well at least i’m healthy so whatever. but deep inside i’ll try my best.

i hope will get my dream job. oh ya. on 2nd of january i’ll go to my first interview. wishing the best for myself.

i hope i can get along with my childhood friends again. with my primary,secondary and all the persons that i’ve known when i took a part in debate or forum.

well, i guess thats enough for 2008. i believe i’ll achieve all of that. yea.  i’ll.

now,the clock already shown 0005 am. today is the first day of january 2008. oh my!

Happy new year to all of my friends. my advice is,if you think nobody loves you,i do. my pricipe is "i live not for people love me and when people hated me,i’ll not die." May Allah bless all of us.

i love you..!                  

since i came here,stayed here.. i’ve found a lots of differences. i mean about so many things. peoples here really different. simple example. here, people made their own tradition that wen weekend,they’ll have their dinner outside rather than a mother cooks for her family/ies. for me,wen a mother cooks we can be together. the togetherness spirit will be there. plus,air tangan ibu totally not same wit air tangan the cook at any restaurant rite? even my mother cooked telur mata kerbau pun i felt dat was the most delicious,crusty n well-cook in dis world. but again,here they are different. all of family members have their meal outside. but i can’t give specific comment. mbe they have their own reason/s. but,wen we have our meal wit all or our family members,dat was really2 fun. we can talk about so many thing. laugh. usik2. n so many more.   i’ve grown up wit the togetherness environment. my mom’s cooking is the best for me. just like your mom for yours.

other thing is their life style.. teenagers mostly girls bebas sgt. i’m not condeming them la. n i’m not an old fashion or old-thinking one. but girsl should not be too modern. we can but have to have our own dignity.. mostly malay. we have our own tradition rite. so keep it up.if too easy to date,hang up,merayau2,bersuka-ria, that’s not nice la. mbe i’m lil bit kolot but my prinsip,biar semoden mana tpi xkan perigi cri timba. and for me,eventhough technologies ambil alih dis world,i dun care.. i’m still me.. i’ll not jeles wit others. well i’ve to get used wit all dis. as long as i’m not being lik them,that’s good kan? i ges i’m not culture shocked at all. now,i knw why she acted lik dat. (here,i admit i talked bout someone k). mbe because the environment. environment around her life. her hometown n her studies’s place. the way she mixed wit all people around. totally DIFFERENT wit me. and my social skills (in good way) much2 better than her. i ges that’s enough. not good la wen i talked bout her too much. bad me. haha.

ok la,i want to analyze more things here. the place i’ve been stayed now. i’m seek the better things. =)

i’m back again.. too much i want to share.. now, i’m already here.. not there anymore.. too much happen rite now i ges.. not guessed.. but reality.. my greatgrandmother have been attacked.. by wat?? come on. not need to b serious like dat.. moyang sy kenna strok.. in just one second.. shocking me.. because before dis she’s not too sick la.. just sakit tua.. and i.. have been so long i’m not meeting her.. her age.. around 100 ++.. wen i heard dat news,i’m blurred.. i just imagined all bad things.. is she going to die?? witout me at her side?? seriously dat ime i’m scared.. i just went back immediately.. actually that’s not too bad.. just separuh lumpuh but needed fully nursing care.. btw,she is still strong enuf to wake up n duduk2 by herself.. then i’m better.. after my bro teman my moyang since her admitted,i take my turn.. accompany my sis.. we do da best 4 her.. i ges our service in ’service class a’ or sholud i say superb? ye la.. we put bedak,take her bathed,put some perfume..tommy girl perfume. n just wanna let u knw dat my moyang is a kind of ‘cermat’ person.. cerewet! haha. wen time is running out,i just too sad to laeve her.. to let my other relatives care her.. i’ve promised her dat i’ll go back again.. to take care of her.. but she cried.. haih..make me cried too.. but now,its getting better.. she’s better.. i just pray dat she’ll be like before.. or nearly like before.. wen lik dis happen,i realized dat i should not seek any true love anymore.. for me,true love is family…. i love them~!

nye.. in melur’s

mata bengkak.

TERUSKAN DENGAN PENIPUAN ITU. KERANA TIADA SIAPA YANG TAHU KECUALI KAMU.

TUHAN ITU SATU..

KEPURA-PURAAN KAMU MENJADIKAN HATI INI TIADA RASA KASIH,SAYANG DAN CINTA SEBAGAI MANUSIA LAGI.

CUKUP UJIAN YANG DITERIMA.

AKU INGIN MENJADI SEGAGAH SITI KHADIJAH~

Kegagahan Wanita

4) Perempuan yang tidak meminta-minta agar di penuhi segala keinginan.

Kegagahan perempuan berdiri di atas teguh iman. Seluruh kegagahan yang
Ada pada Khadijah adalah kegagahan sempurna bagi seorang perempuan.

Kecantikan seorang lelaki bukan kepada rupa fizikal tetapi pada murni rohani. Lelaki yang cantik,adalah:-

1) Lelaki yang mampu mengalirkan airmata untuk ingatan

2) Lelaki yang sedia menerima segala teguran

3) Lelaki yang memberi madu,setelah menerima racun

4) Lelaki yang tenang dan lapang dada

5) Lelaki yang baik sangka

6) Lelaki yang tak pernah putus asa

Kecantikan lelaki berdiri di atas kemuliaan hati. Seluruh kecantikan yang ada pada Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. adalah kecantikan yang sempurna seorang lelaki.

haih…

i’ve been thinking bout dis 4 a few days ago.. i dunno.. i dun understand my own problem.. specificly i dont.. i dun wanna go there xceli.. i mean i wanted 2 but not 4 long period.. i’ve been thinking sooooo much rite? yea.. haih.. thinking bout da jarak.. sooooooooooooo jauh… over da sea.. n da fees to come back needed bout thousand! hey.. i should b positive.. i can learn how 2 b independent there.. buy my own food,clothes…ah.. i gonna miss my mum! my dad… my cats.. my bed.. my room… yea.. i never been "divorced" wit all of them. me manja.. yupp.. mnja.. n i cant argued,wrestling wit my younger sis… i cant do that everyday already…

i’ve not packing yet.. too much thing dat i need 2 bring… my own blanket.. my elmo.. how many times did i ngeluh already?? dunno……. it’s totaaly hard 4 me.. being far from my house.. my heaven.. my mama,my abah,baby,my dol,my shinbey,my black n my grey… ya allah.. my i should have this feeling?? i should go there wit hati yang lapang..fikir sesuatu yang gembira..bahagia.. dunno…i want to stay here.. but till wen?? never being apart wit family..so i ges dis is da time rite?? if not now wen?? i cant be wit them forever.. my pray "semoga kami semua bersatu kembali sebagai keluarga di akhirat sana… amiin.."

plus,last nite something happen…i thought i can do it but i cant… yea… hard 4 him to do dat.. yea.. i have to understand.. have to try… who am i to him?? not sure.. honestly sometimes i felt lik i’m not special at all… although he said a thousan times.. mbe bcause too pain.. confusing.. been betrayed.. my loyalty… gone… wat is my topic again?? mm.. be positive.. how can i??? i knw i’m going to misssssssssssssssssssssss them so musc… by hook or crook i have to go… to get my own life… far.. far away from them…

mbe its not to hard..but i make it looked sooo hard…. i make it just like i cant handle it…but..again…over da sea..far far away…. n i never been jauh…haih… and he influenced my feeling.. i hate dis.. yea..evrything seems to b hard for me.. but not others.. too much excuses..u dun have troubled urself 4 me k..

i should stop now.. feel lik wanna cry… manja…..watever… i should relief dis..not packed anything yet..so much to bring..hope dis gonna b ok..but how??? ntah…. rite now i felt i dun want to meet him..yeaa… "panas..jauh..jln sesak..tgk la..ntah la.."..that’s enuf of shown how u aprreciate me.. or mbe i just think too much..

i wish all my dreams come true..

i wish that i can make people around me happy..

i wish i can be an extraordinary person..

i wish i can do whatever i want…

aahhhhh..wen to many wishes,do u think u’ll hepi all da time??

no way…Tuhan has decided that not all our wishes,our pray will come true..why? because that’s the reason for us to be thankful..thankful n appreciate wat we have..to teach us what is the real mean by DESTINY..

and i wish that i can turn the past..to change wat i’ve done..totally bad things.. but not all the bad things will gave a bad affect.. n not all good things will stayed good forever.. in my childs’ time,i wished that i can be a witch..so i can do whatever.. whatever i want.. i can avoid from made my mom mad at certain time,can escape from go to school,can play all the time…

now,is reality time.. i’ve faced many things.. and surely more will come..being bitched,lies,hypocrite,backstabbers,enemies,envious and lost.. all thats make me down,felt betrayed n revenge will be the 1st thing..yupp..i’m an emotional person..

but,i’m no longer 2 b dat kind of people.. how? because the word of DESTINY.. it changed me a lots…because wen bad things happen,i still have a good one.. being love.. true love from family,syazwan thariq n mostly my TUHAN.. i still have them.. i still got a person who always being honest,person who acted just themself.. see..

so why people make a wish? because want to comfort themself.. from wish there’s a hope.. from hope people will tried.. wen tried n we get it,make us happy n thankful..but if we dont,teach us to be thankful wit what we have.. life’s easy.. dun think so hard.. dont try be others.. wishing by yourself..not because others influence.. if not now,it’ll be then… lik a wheel..

raya 2006..

first pic together~~

me n my late tammy..

cats         

find something that can make you happy wen u sad.. find something that can releaf ur pain wen u hurted….

just feel want blogging…dunno wat i rili wan 2 share…oh ya..since someone had being so emo wit me,here’s some advice….

FRIENDSTER IS A PLACE 2 HAVE FUN..REALLY…NEVERTHELESS WE WANT TO FIND OUR OLD FRENS OR LOOK AROUND 4 NEW FRENS….SO JUST IGNORE WAT PEOPLE SAY HERE.. NOTHING MUCH WE CAN DO HERE..  JUST PLAYED AROUND.. CHANGE PROFILE,BLOGGING,SEND A COMMENT OR TESTI,EDIT ANYTHING U WANT.. SO DUN BE SO EMO… STOP BEING CHILDISH AND ACTED LIKE U ARE NOT A MATURED PERSON(EVEN IF U REALLY ARE)

so just lets have some fun…honestly spaeking,4 me friendster is a placed 4 me 2 express wat i want..feel free..yea..ofkos fun! till then………………………. cheer up yourself k..